Where did our stickers go?

Five Down!!!

By Daren Many

SULLIVAN, Mo. — By the end of this trip I’m going to owe a lot of people a lot of favors. Or at least I will need to let a lot of people sleep on my couch for the next decade.

Big thanks to our friend Lindsey and the Messinger family for putting us up in Denver and Troy’s cousin, Erica, and her husband, Andrew, for putting us up in Kansas City. Once again we were humbled by their generosity.

Van GoghIt’s been awhile since I wrote something, so sorry to those of you who actually look forward to reading this thing (Mom). Since I’ve written last we have been through eight states including stops in Denver, Kansas City, and the College World Series in Omaha, Nebraska. We’ve driven some 2,000 miles, drank approximately six to seven 12-packs of shitty beer, spent absolutely no money on any vegetable products, got an oil change at an all-lesbian-employed garage (our Jeep runs great, by the way), saw the biggest Van Gogh painting in the world in Kansas, and played a game that involved traffic and a piece of hotdog. All these things have made our trip one of the best I will ever take.

What is not making this trip fun is file extensions. A quick word about this subject and I will move on. I have spent approximately 12 to 14 hours of my life converting video from one file extension to another. Which just so happens to be the same amount of time it takes the Mets to drop two games in the standings.

If you’re reading this, Bill Gates, why do I need to convert a .fuk file to a .you file every time I want to take video and move it around? It’s like having to change your clothes every time you walk into a different room in your house. It’s annoying and uncalled for. Plus, I don’t know what I’m doing, so it’s easier just to say everyone else is wrong.

When you log as many miles as Troy and I have you sometimes run out of things to talk about. Either that or the conversations start to sound like something you would hear Tom Hanks saying to a volleyball on a desert island.  As we were returning from the Rockies game the other day we somehow got into a conversation about things that really annoy us. Here is the shortened list that Troy threw at me.

Pancakes, Yellow Bikes, Wind, Idaho, People Who Talk On Those Ear Phone Things, The Oregon Ducks, Gavin Rossdale, Blurred Out License Plates On TV Shows, People Who Fish And Brag About What They Caught, People Who Say: “ Git-r-done,” and Facebook.

He does love Pat Benatar, though, so go figure. There are only two things that really annoy me other than erroneous file extensions. One is Troy sneezing. His sneezes are loud, long, over dramatized, and extremely annoying. Picture yourself sitting at home relaxing in your living room watching a movie. You’re in a completely comfortable state. All of a sudden a cement truck full of clowns blows through your living room wall. It’s that kind of annoying. Sorry, Troy.

Flood WatersSecondly, its annoying paying $8 for a movie ticket to a crappy movie. Troy and I went and saw M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie “The Happening” the other night for something different. It just so “happened” that it sucked. 

What’s not annoying is the weather in the Midwest. It’s bad-ass and I love it. Having lived in Southern Idaho for four years I started to long for weather. Any kind of weather. I got sick of the sun. I grew up in the Catskills, where we had thunderstorms and snow. Wind and hail. In Southern Idaho all you get is wind. I like actual weather, so the past few days of dodging tornadoes and moving lakes have been great. The wind and rain on our trip from Omaha to Sullivan, Missouri, were so out of control they blew the baseball stickers right off the Jeep. It was awesome and I look forward to more downed trees, hydroplaning, and general bad-ass weather.

The actual baseball games have been great. We have had a good showing of friends and family in both Denver and Kansas City. Things are exponentially better when we can share these moments with family and friends, so we look forward to people continuing to come out to the park and drink expensive beers with us.

I think my biggest surprise so far has been Kansas City. At the beginning of the trip I had visions of myself sitting at historic Fenway and Wrigley, getting beer dumped on me and my Mets jersey at Yankee Stadium, and getting to see modern-day wonders such as AT&T Park. Never did I expect so much from a park in the middle of the country. Not only is Kaufmann Stadium in the middle of the country, it’s in the middle of a hay field.

I was thoroughly impressed with the fans, the park itself, and the overall atmosphere. I was impressed that the fans still talk about the 1985 championship like it was yesterday and are willing to wait for the next one. I was impressed with my seats. For the first time on this trip I didn’t get altitude sickness walking to my section.

I was impressed that Troy’s cousin, Whitney, pulled on the tail of the Royals mascot Sluggerrr, drunkenly rooted for the Rangers because she thought they were the Royals, and held our entire camera collection while we went to get way too many hotdogs. It was only a buck for a hotdog so it had to be done.

We are on our way to St. Louis this morning to go watch a Cardinals game. I got up today to learn that half the state I’m in is underwater and the Mets just fired their entire coaching staff. We’re hoping to get to the Field of Dreams tomorrow in Dyersville, Iowa, if it’s not underwater.

I’m also hoping to get a new team soon.

Mets: 6.5 Games Back

(There’s more on this and our other adventures at BaseCrawl.com.)


7 Responses to “Where did our stickers go?”

  1. 26 World Series Titles Says:

    Dude, loved reading about the trip so far. Your beloved Mets are a bunch of drunked idiots for firing Willie….. They are going to be 10 games out by the time you get to New York to watch them.

  2. Whitney Says:

    you have to admit that the rangers and the royals uniforms were incredibly similar…

  3. Whitney Says:

    PS…. F*** the mets. GO ROYALS!!!!

  4. Anymore trash talk about the Mets and you guys are outta here! That means you Whitney and Corey. But yes Corey, we are going to be at least 10 games out if not many, many more.

  5. Daren,

    I have a few comments and questions.

    Are you going to post all the photos from Denver. If not, please send the ones that I would like to have.

    The Mets had to fire someone. Just remember; you always have the two years behind me.

    You or the Bandwagon fuck up in San Diego. My homeboy threw a Mets party at his bar and then he partyed in box seat at the game (free drink and food).

    Has the fuel efficiency increased in the jeep?

    You might be drinking shitty beer, but we left you something good out of Denver.


  6. Steven, I’m working on putting up all the photos as we speak. I’ve got a new photo album that will be up soon. The fuel efficiency increased after we left Nolan’s fat ass behind but believe it or not we’re drinking more now so the extra booze has brought mpg down. The Captain’s you left us is demolished. Troy’s cousin Whitney took care of that one. We still have some vodka but its going fast. Have you moved to San Diego yet?

    Pissed Mets Fan

  7. Melissa Says:

    Thank you so much for letting the world know how annoying Troy’s sneezes are. I couldn’t agree more.

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