I think I saw Figment on Bourbon Street

Wow. There are actually two stupid purple dinosaurs.

By Daren Many

ORLANDO, Fla. — As this trip creeps towards its end I’m reminded how fast time moves and how quickly things change.

One minute I’m riding around with Figment and a bunch of kids at Epcot Center and two days later I’m drinking copious amounts of alcohol on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

As we passed out of Florida and turned towards the West and the eventual end of this trip I was reminded once again how fast time has passed. I started thinking about some of my childhood memories when Mom would pack me up and take me to Florida every summer.

Then it hit me. Where the hell is my blanky? 

One of my earliest childhood memories involves a nameless blanket that went wherever I happened to go — whether I went to the living room or Florida. I immediately realized we had passed through the state where my blanket has been held hostage for some 24 years.

I know this because during the summer when I was 4 we returned from a Florida trip without it. Now, I realize that it would be slightly awkward if I were still carrying this blanket around at the age of 28, but I found myself wanting some answers. I called my mom and demanded she explain what happened two and half decades earlier that caused me to lose my first love.

She said that during the summer of 1984 I was probably getting a little to old to be carrying around a blanky. Something needed to be done.

“Well,” I replied, “did anyone consult me about what I thought of this change of plans?” It turns out there was more than one party involved in this coup. And although the story is a bit fuzzy, it went something like this.

We had some family friends who had a place in Florida. These “friends” also thought I was too old for a blanket — a blanket that provided comfort, security, and warmth on cold nights.

My mom and our “friends” had come up with a brilliant plan to remove the blanket from my power. They had crafted a bedtime story which they were confident would change my mind. Now I can’t quote the exact story, but it read like a horror novel from Stephen King.

The story told of some kind of magic kingdom in Florida where blankets went to live at a certain age. I was very skeptical of this story at first. My blanket was not as old as they were saying, but I listened on.

Apparently this was the last time my blanket could be free. If I left Florida and the magic kingdom of blankets behind, it would never be free.

“Well, when you put it that way I guess I should leave it. I can get a new one when we get home though, right?” Apparently not. That was the last I ever saw of my blanket. I hope it’s still doing well.

That's me talking to Pinocchio: "If you touch my blanket you long-nosed son of a bitch, I will kill you!"

It’s still amazing to me how time seems to elude me. How could this trip be almost over? It’s a 75-day trip! Also, by the way, where the hell did my childhood go?

 

Troy insisted we go to Epcot Center because he remembers his parents taking him there in the fifth grade and being absolutely mesmerized. As you can imagine, it wasn’t quite the same the second time around. We walked around Epcot in a sort of confused state wondering what had happened to us all those years ago. Our ride in Spaceship Earth didn’t hold the same mystique as it once had, but we both enjoyed ourselves. 

 

We have mentioned that this might be our last big trip and it signals the end of our youth. I’ve changed my thinking since then. I feel completely rejuvenated about life since starting this trip. I may be getting older, but I’m never going to stop having fun and being goofy.

 

The people who think we are to old for this actually are to old.

 

On that note, I dressed up in a puma outfit last night at the Houston game and it was one of the best times we have had on this journey. Much more to come on that subject, but for now we still have two games left and many more miles before this thing is over.

 

Here's me again, at age 4, talking to Goofy: "I don't know if you're a horse or a dog, but dont touch me you freak."

A big thanks to Nicole and Kevin for putting us up in St. Petersburg. We had a great time with you guys and I never thought I would have that much fun at a Rays game. I know you guys never thought you would have that much fun going through a KFC drive-thru. Hope we see you again someday.

Mets: Still in first but barely holding on.

(There’s more on this and our other adventures at BaseCrawl.com.)